The sun has set and the Vesper Lights flicker and glow
It has been a long Lord’s day
Walking with my Dad through a difficult day
Denise walking with her Dad through an even more difficult day
We are both thankful that we can be with them as they traverse the Valley of the Shadows
We miss each other so much, but we are where we need to be
Right now that is in Minnesota and Alabama
As the end of a long day comes
As we look to a challenging week ahead
Lord, in your mercy, hear this humble prayer I offer for both of us and our Dads
Dona Nobis Pacem
Grant Us Peace
A wee prayer from the heart of your Padre…
“Now let us sing Alleluia, not in the enjoyment of heavenly rest, but to sweeten our toil. Sing as travelers sing along the road; but keep on walking. Solace your toil by singing—do not yield to idleness. Sing but keep on walking. What do I mean by walking? I mean, press on from good to better. The apostle says there are some who go from bad to worse. But if you press on, you keep on walking. Go forward then in virtue, and in true faith in right conduct. Sing up—and keep on walking.”—St. Augustin, Sermon 256
The sun has set and the Vesper Lights flicker and glow
It has been a long day for so many, Lord
A very dear friend had to say her last goodbye to her mother
We will continue to carry the family in our hearts as they walk through the Valley of the Shadows
Our Dad’s continue their journey towards healing
Denise and I continue our long days of support and encouragement from Minnesota and Alabama
As HRH Queen Pixie looks on approvingly
And as my eyelids grow heavy I lift this humble prayer to you
Dona Nobis Pacem
Grant Us Peace
A wee prayer from the heart of your Padre…
“When it is genuine, when it is born of the need to speak, no one can stop the human voice. When denied a mouth, it speaks with the hands or the eyes, or the pores, or anything at all. Because every single one of us has something to say to the others, something that deserves to be celebrated.”—Eduardo Galeano
“Perhaps the greatest gift of monastic practice and its careful guidance to the heart of stillness is to immerse us in a way of being and perceiving the world that moves us past finding value solely in our doing.”
—Christine Valters Paintner, PhD, Breath Prayer: An Ancient Practice for the Everyday Sacred will be published by Broadleaf Books on October 12th
When do you make time and space to discover the immense riches in your very being, resting your efforts to achieve something, to produce?
For both Denise and me, these past few weeks have been both a challenge and a blessing. Tonight Denise is in Florence, Alabama caring for her father who had a stroke and today moved from the hospital to rehab. We received the news on Wednesday and she spent Thursday driving from Minnesota to Alabama. Yesterday and today I walked with Dad as he navigated rehab and life at Good Samaritan in Albert Lea, Minnesota. Spending my days in Albert Lea (just as Denise had been doing from the last week of July until this week) has been an opportunity to both walk with Dad and get to know a phenomenal care staff who is working with Dad. I can hear my former Command Chaplain Boss at AF Special Operations Command chuckling that his former Deputy who was an Austin High School Packer was spending so much time in his old stomping grounds… He was an Albert Lea Tiger and they were conference rivals of ours in High School (and still are today). I can’t believe I hired a Packer to be my Deputy was what he said!
Anyway, it has been a time of introspection for me. It has also been a time of fun as HRH Queen Pixie (pictured below) made her presence known at Good Sam’s.
Today was a day for musical reflection as well. It wasn’t a time for introspective music though. I was taking a trip down memory lane with a band that had a significant impact on me in High School and College, Styx. Denise and I got to see them perform in Orange Beach, Alabama during a two week (including two Sundays) break that Presbyterian Community Church in the Rockies in Estes Park, Colorado gave to us following the journey through the Shadows with both of our Moms (Nov 2017 and Mar 2018). The concert had been rained out the night before we arrived and were were able to snag tickets for seats six rows from the front for the re-scheduled concert. Here’s a bit of trivia… Tommy Shaw, the lead guitarist, grew up in Orange Beach, Alabama and was thrilled with the crowd that came back the day after a rain cancellation to enjoy the show.
Well, today as I listened to their music on my drive back to Austin from Albert Lea a song from their recently released album (in my pre-digital brain they are still albums or cassette tapes!) “Crash of the Crowns.” The song is “Hold Back the Darkness.” It pretty much encapsulated the events and feelings of the COVID reality which began in March, 2020 and continues today with new variants. Between the difficulties of change for our Dads and all of the traveling we have been doing, it has been a challenge. So as I was driving, the song touched me as it invited me to reflect on the valleys of the shadows I have encountered throughout my years of ministry and the journey through the valley of the shadows that Denise and I have walked through together with so many parishioners and with our Moms and now, in a different way, our Dads.
These are the closing lines of the song —
And I feel no pain
Nothing can touch me, and I’m gonna win
And I’m not holding back, not reining it in
You hold back the darkness, and we’ll all see the sun rise again. (Crash of Crowns, 2021)
As we walk together through this landscape of fear, hatred, division, and war dear reader; I am reminded that we will indeed see the sun rise again despite the current darkness. These words of Thomas Merton also invite us to walk through the darkness with hope, not hopelessness, as we are led to the dawn of the new day of hope.
And it is in this darkness, when there is nothing left in us that can please or comfort our own minds, when we seem to be useless and worthy of all contempt, when we seem to have failed, when we seem to be destroyed and devoured, it is then that the deep and secret selfishness that is too close to us for us to identify is stripped away from our souls. It is in this darkness that we find liberty. It is in this abandonment that we are made strong. This is the night which empties us and makes us pure. (New Seeds of Contemplation)
This is my hope and my prayer as we walk together through these difficult times, dear reader. May we sense and be supported by the presence of the Spirit as She holds back the darkness and invites us into the sunrise of a new and glorious day!
“But only art and music have the power to bring peace.”—Yoko Ono
We have had a whirlwind these past three, going on four weeks. Dad ended up in the hospital and is now in rehab. We drove up the last Monday in July and helped him go from the hospital to rehab therapy. He is making progress but it is slow going. I went back to Georgia for ten days and Denise stayed behind to encourage Dad and be an Advocate for him.
You know you have been visiting a care center for a while when all of the staff know you (Denise) by name and she knows staff and residents by name and helps out in the chapel, the dining room, and elsewhere in the facility! Of course anyone who knows my beloved wouldn’t be the least bit surprised 😉
Yesterday Denise received a call that her Dad had to be hospitalized. She drove down today to be with him and help him. She will return to Minnesota next week as we prepare to transition Dad from rehab back to The Cedars where he has lived for the past four years. As we had dinner at our favorite restaurant (The Old Mill) in Austin for my birthday we had some laughs along with some reflective moments. Enjoying the dinner and wine (thanks to our good friends Mark & Cathy who made sure we had a nice bottle of wine for the celebratory dinner) we also had fun talking with and getting to know the staff. Hmmmm, Denise talking with and getting to know strangers who are now friends… is there a pattern here? 😉
As Denise drove to Alabama and I spent the day with Dad, I thought about how quickly life can change. I also thought about how we literally don’t know what may happen from day to day. The psalmist reminds us that This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118:24)
Life is a journey with all sorts of twists and turns in it. While we may not know what is going to happen next, I find comfort in God’s promise and presence in the midst of the unknown. Thomas Merton’s Prayer of Abandonment and Trust speaks to my heart, especially during these challenging times.
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. — Thomas Merton (Thoughts in Solitude)
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone… what a beautiful reminder as we walk this path together. We are thankful for family and friends who are walking with us and for our Carrollton Presbyterian Church family who continue to support us and pray with us. Yes, God will never leave us to face our perils alone.
“It’s not about standing still and becoming safe. If anybody wants to keep creating they have to be about change.”—Miles Davis
“People across the nation and all over the world are taking actions to build a community in which the values of justice, cooperation, and respect for this fragile world are upheld. Almost none of these are actions we will ever hear about.”—Voices for Creative Nonviolence
