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Finding God – A Reflection

April 23, 2020

To be honest, despite a wonderful walk this afternoon with my sweetheart, I am exhausted. It is overwhelming at times as Denise and I offer ministry in this new environment. A couple of weeks ago (Holy Week? I can’t remember) I wrote about hitting a wall. This new reality and the tension between not panicking and being realistic as you lead is rough.

Now as we prepare for sleep, I wonder… God, where are you in the midst of this mess? Perhaps I am looking in the wrong places for God? In the quote below from No Man is an Island, Thomas Merton gives me a bit of an insight into this issue.

In order to find God in ourselves, we must stop looking at ourselves, stop checking and verifying ourselves in the mirror of our own futility, and be content to be in [God] and to do whatever [God] wills, according to our limitations, judging our acts not in the light of our own illusions, but in the light of [God’s] reality which is all around us in the things and people we live with. (p.126)

Perhaps instead of looking within myself I need to look deeper. Perhaps I need to look beyond myself and find the Divine Spark, the Spirit within. Perhaps that is something to ponder as I drift off to sleep.

  1. hlcgkids permalink

    It is interesting the different paths that we take in life. Some are good for us and some are not so good, but I remember Jos 1:9 “… be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” I have been in God’s boot camp way more than once and it seems that I have a habit of volunteering for it. This I do know that no matter how bad the situation is God is there to carry or encourage me. I don’t even have to ask him. I guess it is the confidence that I have in my own salvation.

    • Even in their darkest hours the Mystics come to realize the presence of God. David M Bailey, a musician and friend who survived for 14 years following the diagnosis of Glioblastoma which they said would take him in six months wrote volumes of songs about life and the valleys and peaks.

      This poem is one of so many songs and poems of his that helped draw me out of a time of darkness towards the end of my Air Force career.

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