Being Like Water

“You are like stone. Be like water.”

I first heard this at the height of my wary cynicism phase. In my universe, most other people and all of society’s institutions would eventually let you down.

To be fair to my younger self, I was only just learning to navigate young adulthood. My childhood memories of abuse, rejection, and exploitation were still open wounds.

Paradoxically, these wounds announced themselves to me in nagging feelings of shame that occasionally erupted into turbulent, overwhelming storms. In other words, the anger I felt at those who injured me had mutated into a persistent sense that I could never measure up. I was just no good.

Admitting to my inner turmoil and to the injuries that gave rise to it felt too risky at the time. So, I adopted the posture of wary cynicism. To borrow a phrase from Timon of The Lion King…