He’s Real & Alive!

In October of 1980, my world had been turned upside down. I was a junior at the University of Wisconsin at Eau Claire and an Accounting major. In one fell swoop, Intermediate Accounting I and Doctor Seline had dashed my hopes of being an accountant just like my father. Well, that is a bit dramatic. It wasn’t Doc Seline’s fault. Yes, he had said at the beginning of the class that about 60% of us wouldn’t be there at the end of the semester. However, if we were one of the 40% who remained, we would pass the Certified Public Accountant (CPA) certification exam the first time. Doc was right… at the end of Intermediate Accounting II there were exactly 40% of the original students left. I don’t know if they later passed the CPA exam the first time, but I do know that I was not one of the 40%. No, despite my best efforts to understand the quagmire that was Accounting 301 and all of the rules, regulations and theories we were studying, the results of the mid-term exam were less than stellar. Even though I had studied and studied and studied when the results came back, the comment, “40% – F” was at the top of my exam in bold red letters.OUCH!

The night after I took the exam was quite introspective to say the least. I didn’t know what I was going to tell my parents and I certainly didn’t know how I was going to salvage two-and-a-half years of undergraduate studies in the School of Business. That evening found me sitting on one of my favorite campus spots, Putnam Park on the banks of the Chippewa River. The rock was a favorite place of mine to go and listen to the sounds of the river flowing by and enjoy simply being in a place of serenity and stillness. That October night, as I pondered my life and predicament, my mind was a fog of confusion and despair. My prayers weren’t so much verbal as they were a matter of my mind walking wordlessly through a dense fog. God evidently heard the groaning deep within my heart and, mercifully, answered me. It was on that rock that God called me to ministry in uniform. Denise and I returned to the campus 33 years later (and many spiritual miles later for this Padre) and I took the above picture as I contemplated all that had gone on during those 33 years.

Many times over the course of the remaining two years I was in the School of Business, I would return to the rock and wonder how this call was going to play out. I was confident that God had called me but I was not confident in either my abilities to complete a Bachelor of Business Administration with a minor in Accounting or possibly go on to earn a graduate degree! I needed reassurance from time to time that this was real and that God had it all in hand. Each time I sought those reassurances, God was always faithful and gave them to me. Interestingly enough, when I was re-called to ministry in 2010 by God, I remembered that experience on the river bank. It is also interesting for me to note that I was near the water on the Gulf Coast of Florida when I had that experience. Water speaks to my soul and God has often spoken to me on lakes, rivers, and oceans. Driving to work at Hurlburt Field in the rain one day while listening to Michael W. Smith’s “Amazing Grace: My Chains are Gone” and “Healing Rain” I was overwhelmed with the assurance that even though I was leaving the Air Force Chaplain Corps after 26 years in uniform, God wasn’t finished with me. God was calling me back to ministry, only this time it was as a pastor, not a chaplain.

As I read the passage for this Sunday from Luke, my call and re-call experience was what came to my mind. For just as the disciples had been worried, terrified, and afraid, I too had been in similar shoes in 1980 and again in 2010. Last Sunday we explored the post-resurrection appearance of Jesus as told by John. In John’s version, we read about Thomas and his need for proof that Jesus had indeed been raised from the dead. In Luke, we read a much grittier version of the post-resurrection appearance. Both John and Luke have Jesus appearing literally out of thin air and saying, “Peace be with you” to the disciples. However, Luke tells us how the disciples were terrified and believed Jesus was a ghost. And despite the fact that Jesus showed them his hands and his side and allowed them to touch him, they were still filled with disbelief.

Thankfully for the disciples, Jesus didn’t just turn around and leave. He had patience with them and decided to show them in another way that he was indeed real and alive. Jesus asked, “Do you guys have anything to eat?” In silence they gave him some of the broiled fish that was to be their supper and he ate it in front of them. Okay fellows, you have touched my body and seen that it is real… you have watched me eat broiled fish in front of you… now do you get it? I am not a ghost! I am real!

Then he began to teach them once again. He reminded them of the lessons he had taught them during the three years they wandered the countryside together. It was all real… and he was the living proof! What I find amazing about this story in addition to the obvious “he’s alive” stuff is the fact that the disciples were called in spite of their doubts. How often did I doubt my own calling to ministry all those years ago? Quite often, I must say. And how often did I doubt my re-call to ministry in 2010? Thankfully I didn’t doubt as much in 2010 as I did in 1980. An older and wiser Padre perhaps? No, just a Padre who had seen and experienced much more of God’s amazing grace through the years and had gradually learned to listen a wee bit better (not a LOT better, but a wee bit better).

Some bloggers and commentators I follow have wondered why the lectionary has us looking at the post-resurrection appearances two Sundays in a row this year. Well, for one thing, I think that we need to look at the different perspectives and “eye-witness accounts” of the events. I also think we need to let the reality of Easter Sunday and the absolute miracle of the resurrection sink in. Just as too many in the church are in an all-fired hurry to blast from Palm Sunday to Easter Sunday with little pause along the way for Maundy Thursday or Good Friday, I believe we are often in a hurry to get beyond Easter as well.

Luke reminds us that even though the disciples doubted and wondered, Jesus told them that THEY were witnesses of these things and that THEY would be called to proclaim “repentance and forgiveness of sins” to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem! In that, I find great hope. Yes, dear reader, God can use you and me both to do God’s work in the here and now. God uses us, frail, fragile and sinful sinners, to do God’s work in this world. Hey, God called an Intermediate Accounting dropout into ministry. And yes, God calls and equips you to be the hands and feet of Christ in this world. Let the words of these two prayers of St Teresa of Avila sink in… ponder the call God has placed upon your heart… Ponder and believe…

Christ has no body now, but yours.
No hands, no feet on earth, but yours.
Yours are the eyes through which he looks
With compassion on this world.

Let nothing disturb you.
Let nothing frighten you.
All things pass away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Those who have God
Find they lack nothing;
God alone suffices.