On His Birthday: A Brief Reflection

On January 31, 1960, Thomas Merton wrote the following in his journal. He was in a reflective mood on his birthday.

Why was I always half-convinced I would die young? Perhaps a kind of superstition—the fear of admitting a hope of life which, if admitted, might have to be dashed. But now “I have lived” a fair span of life and, whether or not the fact be important, nothing can alter it. It is certain, infallible—even though that too is only a kind of dream. If I don’t make it to sixty-five, it matters less. I can relax. But life is a gift I am glad of, and I do not curse the day when I was born. On the contrary, if I had never been born I would never have had friends to love and be loved by, never have made mistakes to learn from, never have seen new countries, and, as for what I may have suffered, it is inconsequential and indeed part of the great good which life has been and will, I hope, continue to be. January 31, 1960, A Search for Solitude: Pursuing the Monk’s True LifeThe Journals of Thomas Merton, Volume 3: 1952-1960 pp. 372–73

The comment, life is a gift I am glad of, speaks to my heart as I continue to embrace this next step in my own journey. Twice retired, preparing to move to our “forever home,” and contemplating the past almost 64 years of life; I too am grateful for this gift. Yes, life has had its challenges, its ups and downs; but it has also had countless blessings too.

It’s hard to believe that he died a month before his 54th birthday. He was taken from this world far too soon but the legacy of writings, photographs, and recordings he left behind have been a blessing to me and to so many others. While one can mourn the fact that he died so young, one can also celebrate the life that he lived.

Today he has given me an opportunity to remember, reflect, and give thanks for my own life. Thank for your invitation to reflect on my own life on your birthday, Thomas Merton.