Depression, PTSD, & Yom Kippur

There has been something bugging me all day today. This  blog has been percolating so to speak for a few days now and today a new twist was added. At the Estes Park Interfaith Alliance meeting today we were talking about how we could support the growing refugee population in Colorado.  We also, frankly talked about the tenor of division, hate, and fear dividing this country as the elections draw closer. My own heart has been increasingly heavy as I watch the foulness spewed on the pages of Social Media and around the country.

To be honest, it has made it a real struggle at times to stay engaged. I know depression personally and recognize its symptoms. PTSD is a familiar companion as well. They might not be as serious as what others deal with on a daily basis, but they are real. I am also seeing the symptoms screaming out from victims of sexual assault as they react to comments made by one of the candidates for President of the United States. I know those women personally in a way… I have counseled them… I have walked with them through the valley of the shadows… in some way, I carry a small fraction of their pain… So yes, I am fighting that depression and that hopelessness… I am seeing the pain all over again that was in my office for so many years in counseling…

A friend of mine posted a prayer on his Facebook page… that prayer reminded me that today is Yom Kippur… the Day of Atonement. “To those I may have wronged, I ask for forgiveness. To those I may have helped, I wish I had done more. To those I may have neglected to help I ask for understanding. To those who I have helped, I thank you with all my heart!”

The Day of Atonement comes this year for me at a pivotal time. Even though I am not Jewish, the intent and meaning of this high holy day is significant. To seek forgiveness from God and from one another… To seek forgiveness from one’s self… this is more than simply a ritual to be performed. It is a life decision to be made. You cannot truly receive forgiveness until you offer forgiveness!

For me it has been a time of internal sparring like these two Bull Elk are doing in the photo at the top of the blog. With all of the hatred and fear being spread around… with the way people trash each other on Social Media… I have found myself slipping into depression. A sense of hopelessness and despair as I see so much negativity. I find myself slipping into a deep and strong anger. Am I becoming that which I despise?

Lord, help me… Lord, help us as a people… Lord, help us to see each other as sister… as brother… in a world of division, help us to break down walls of hatred and fear… help us to work together for ALL people, not for the privileged elite… instead of spewing venom, let us show love. Atonement… At-One-Ment… help us to become one with you, Lord and with ALL of our neighbors.

I offer this disjointed blog to you, dear readers as a prayer… as a plea. Yes, the rambling is chaotic… my heart is heavy… but I offer it to God in hope! In hope that despite the tailspin this world is in that you and I can indeed make a difference… one life at a time… one relationship at a time. May the dark cloud be lifted… may your redeeming light shine, O Lord. And in that, may we find peace and wholeness. May we be that peace! Dona Nobis Pacem. Grant Us Peace.