Relationships…

Denise and I have driven U.S. Highway 34 a number of times since we moved to Estes Park. It is a winding road through the mountains (Big Thompson River Canyon) that we take when we drive to Loveland and Fort Collins. Two years after the 2013 flood that did so much damage to Estes Park, Drake, and homes along the canyon, you can still see the evidence of the flood. I can’t remember which trip through the canyon was when I first saw it, but the next trip after I spotted the chimney and fireplace pictured above, we stopped and I was able to take a picture of it. As I sit and reflect on the picture, I wonder… had this been an outdoor fireplace? Was it all that was left of a home that was destroyed when the flood waters came through? Or was it a result of the earlier flood of 1976?

In addition to wondering when the destruction was caused, I also wonder about the stories the fireplace could tell. Stories perhaps of a family gathered around for warmth on a cold winter’s night. I can imagine scenes of marshmallows being roasted and family stories shared around the fire. I wonder how many relationships had found solace, support, encouragement, and love around those flames.

The lectionary readings for tomorrow also have given me cause to ponder life and family and relationships in a way similar to the ruined chimney and fireplace. The familiar Genesis story of creation where God creates a partner for Adam out of his own flesh. Eve and Adam were created to be in relationship and partnership with each other. Eve was able to provide the sort of companionship, support, encouragement, and partnership that the animals of the field and the birds of the air could not provide. Of course, the partnership was not just between Adam and Eve. It was between Adam and Eve and God. They were created to be in relationship with each other and with God.

We also know that this relationship soon hit rocky ground. In the past, the church has tended to place the blame for the “fall” on Eve. There is more than enough blame to be placed on both Adam and Eve. Adam was the one whom God first told NOT to eat from the forbidden tree. Eve believed the serpent and Adam did nothing to stop her. So, regardless of who was to blame (is it really that important? I don’t think so…) the end result was significant damage to the relationship between Adam and Eve and God. Did God destroy them when they blew it? No, even though God kicked them out of Eden and turned their immortality into mortality, God still loved them. The relationship had been damaged, but it was not destroyed.

When I looked at the Mark passage, I have to admit that I cringed! I have preached from that passage many times throughout my years of ministry and I still cringe when it comes around on the lectionary cycle. Why do I cringe? I cringe because of the damage that has been caused when this passage has been used by christians (lower case is intentional) to bash other people who don’t believe EXACTLY like they do. I have seen people beaten and the scars left behind are not soon healed or forgotten. I also cringe for personal reasons. I am divorced. The pain that I caused to my ex-wife and son are not quickly forgotten. While they have been forgiven, they are not forgotten, at least by me. I realize the pain caused and I also realize the pain I caused for the heart of God. I also hear the voices of the Bible-thumping modern day Pharisees condemning me.

Just about the time I begin to sink under the waters of self-loathing and shame, I remember something.  Just as Jesus took the little children into his arms and blessed them… Just as Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery whom the crowd wanted to stone (in keeping with the Law as they understood it)… Just as Jesus forgave Peter for his three time denial of Jesus… In the same manner, Jesus forgives me… Jesus takes me into his arms and loves, heals, and redeems me. Jesus restores my relationship with God. Jesus makes me whole despite my brokenness and sinfulness. He has also helped to restore broken relationships in my own life.

The Pharisees didn’t care one bit about the hurt involved in divorce. All they cared about was trying to stump Jesus and get him to commit blasphemy. I believe that Jesus cared very deeply (and still does) about the pain caused when relationships are broken and destroyed. He challenged the disciples to take it much more seriously than the Pharisees had. He challenged them to see just how much pain can be caused. And then, when the disciples rebuked the ones who brought the children to Jesus for a blessing, Jesus rebuked the disciples! “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.” (Mark 10:14) We are all God’s children… do we use Scripture or Faith to drive people away? Or do we seek to follow the one who reached out to the outcast and forgave the sinner? Do we offer hope for a future or condemnation that isn’t ours to give?

Remember the ruins of the fireplace in the Big Thompson River Canyon? That house has never been rebuilt. The fireplace stands there as a stark reminder of the harshness of the flooding. Yet for me it also stands as a beacon of remembrance and hope. A family may never gather around the fireplace like they used to. Their lives were forever altered by the flood. Yet that doesn’t have to mean their lives were irretrievably lost. Perhaps the family gathered around a new hearth. While they would remember the harshness of the flood, they would also remember the good times and build new memories around the new fire. That ‘s how it is with God’s love and forgiveness.

Perhaps if we spent more time trying to share the love of Christ (and believing in it for ourselves) and less time being self-righteous Pharisees, the little children might not be prevented from coming to the Lord. It’s just a thought from a Padre who has seen and experienced too much hurt at the hands of so-called christians. May God help us to be more like Christ and less like the Pharisees…